Happy birthday Gerry!

Today we celebrate the birth of Gerald Evan Stoltzfoos. I, for one, am incredibly glad that God blessed the earth with him.

Awhile ago I sent him the top ten reasons why I loved him. I thought about making another one of those for this post. But then I was thinking about how birthdays are a celebration of life so far, as well as an eager expectation of life to come. So I thought it appropriate to make two lists.

List #1: Celebration.
1. He used to call me Blondie when I was little. I hated nicknames, and have always refused them (for whatever reason). This is the only nickname I ever remember allowing, and even secretly enjoying.
2. When I was going through a dark few years as a teenager, he somehow found the perfect mix of loving, worrying about, and praying for me...without pushing me.
3. I feel like he's my biggest fan. He pulls this off without being awkward or cheesy. This makes me feel safe, which is something I'm growing to appreciate more and more.
4. He stretches me and expects more of me than I sometimes think I can do....but how else am I going to grow?
5. He is a spiritual father to me. In a world where so many people grow up without daddies, I have three great ones, besides God. How lucky am I?


List #2: Expectation.
1. I don't know anyone else who talks about God giving them a strategy to, in one fell swoop, turn America back to God. I completely believe it will happen, and can't wait to be a part of it.
2. I love his passion to develop leaders. It's also my favorite thing ever. He has been a part of lifting so many awesome people above him. I believe that thousands of amazing world changers are yet to be impacted by Gerry's life.
3. I've never met anyone else so excited about church planting. They might exist, but I doubt it. I love the God-sized dream of planting 1,000 churches...and when we get there, we'll do another thousand.
4. And then on the other side of the huge, God-sized dream, Gerry always remembers the one. Seeing his tearful joy over just one person's life being transformed reminds me what it's all about.
5. No matter where life takes me, you will always be a spiritual father to me. I love you Gerry!

Blogging is a funny thing. It's pretty trendy right now, but really...what's the point? I used to blog every day...sometimes multiple times in one day. I've come to the conclusion that I may have used it as a substitute for emotional intimacy. I was so good at being a teenager.

Not.

In conclusion, I have awesome friends.

What?

Do you ever look at your life and say...
"God, really....what are you doing?"

It's not because anything is particularly bad. It's just weird.

It's like that one Eminem song...

Tonight was the Bombshelter show. The comeback show, I suppose we'll call it. 5 hardcore/metal bands. I wasn't even planning on coming until Tuesday, but I'm so glad I did.

I wasn't really interested in the first 3 bands...I planned on staying for part of I Am History's show (they played 4th). Then I was going to come home and go to sleep. Right, that didn't happen. Even though IAH started playing later than planned, I couldn't bring myself to leave. Then when Texas in July started...again. Couldn't bring myself to leave. That always used to happen with the old Bombshelter shows. I planned to leave, but then couldn't.

I was thinking about it, and I think a big reason is that I had forgotten how special it is to lose yourself in something. Even the bands that weren't that good tonight threw their whole selves into what they were doing. Half the members of TIJ are in high school, and they're better at their instruments than I've ever been at anything. I was talking to their drummer after the show. He practices 4-6 hours per day, 6 days per week. He's literally given up *everything* to pursue drumming.

That kind of passion and dedication can't help but be inspiring.

These thoughts have very interesting timing in my life...

Fasting, etc.

Today I was reading Forgotten God by Francis Chan. I stopped to pray about something (as I find myself doing frequently when reading something he's written). God revealed a very significant area of unbelief that I've allowed into my life. I don't think I ever consciously realized it was there. But He showed me that I don't really believe that I'm anointed. Maybe because I don't think I'm good enough, but we'll leave the psychoanalysis for another time.

So I'm going on a fruit and vegetable fast again. Not sure how long...I suppose until I get some kind of break through in this area. Just wanted to post this (because sooo many people read it)...I could use the accountability. And prayer. Always prayer.

Vacation?

Cabin weekend was amazing! I rested, spent time with family, read my Bible in the gazebo in the woods, took long walk in said woods, ate way too much food....I look forward to this weekend all year!

It's funny....the week leading up to it, I was so glad for the break. I was overly exhausted, and discouraged about the decision I have to make (more about that in a bit). And yet, by 4:30 Saturday afternoon, all I could think was, "worship practice starts soon" and "I wonder what they're doing". That continued through the weekend. I texted various people for updates about the services, and heard so many exciting things! I missed it! I must be obsessed. There is no other explanation.

I can't wait to get back to work. I haven't decided what I'm doing with my day tomorrow...it's usually my day off, but I'm not sure if I'll be able to keep from doing something!

With that said, I could still use some prayer. I've given myself a deadline to make a decision about these changes that I have to make. That deadline is this Saturday, October 10th. However, I'm no closer to...and actually seemingly a whole lot further from....knowing what to do. I'm confident God will show me.

I'm confident in God about a lot of things. He deeply refreshed me this weekend. I don't know how to express what He's done, but it's good.

Vitamin C.

This whole four services thing is majorly kicking my butt. Today I'm basically ingesting all of the vitamin C I can get my hands on. I think some changes have to be made.


Speaking of changes, I'm in the midst of making a pretty big decision. It's not at all the logical or reasonable thing to do...and I'm pretty excited about it. I've given myself the deadline of October 10th to make the final call. Prayers would be great.

I'm beginning to take the learning guitar thing seriously. I'm going to practice scales here in a bit, run some errands, go to the church to print stuff and pick up marshmallow roasting sticks, come home and cook dinner, and get ready for the worship team bonfire thing. Today is not really a day off. But it's ok, because this weekend my family is going on our annual cabin weekend, and I have three whole days off! Right in a row!

It will be glorious.